Melchior is a distinct species of lizard originating from the region of Papua New Guinea, and is a close relative of other reptiles such as the Walrus of the Arctic and the Orcs of N'thugil Chitter'pang Z'hord Madrapostrophezed. Most distinctive are its elongated toenails which snare passing flowers and arrange them in hand-made pots in various attractive designs that sacrifice the outward beauty of the rose in order to bring out the more resplendant, vibrant colours of the tulips. Rumours that they can change their body shape into that off a dead mongoose to ward off marauding pirates are as of now inconsequential.
The natural habitat of Melchiors are that of the massive, scorching ice floes slightly off-shore the sea surrounding Papua New Guinea, also known as the last surviving home of the Colonial British, a species fast becoming extinct due to the predatory tractors. There, they lives off a type of grass known by natives as "Unglooku" but referred to in English as "Gangrene", as well as the occasional Dodo Bird, an exceedingly rare species of mollusc.
They shows rudimentary intelligence, furnishing homes out of glass, steel, concrete, balsa wood and duvet cushions, where they spends their days feeding, playing scrabble, blinking, and training to gain revenge on that one guy who decided to kill their master whom they must now take revenge on for the sake of their clan.
Melchiors are generally predatory animals, this bit of information conflicting largely with the previous set of information given. But who bothers? Not I. They attack creatures via osmosis, pressing their reptilian bodies against their prey, until, over a certain length of time, ranging from anywhere between 5-10 minutes, give or take 4 years or so. Their main prey falls into the range of anything between wheat fields and Ancient Elder Gods from the planet ZA-R'Koon, where they return yearly to Earth to harvest the souls of the livings to make their bread.
They secrete a light blue liquid from their mouths, addicting in nature, sweet to the taste, known only in tongues as "Aiz Kreame Sohdah", known in English as the nectar of the gods, which they then smear onto rocks to mark out their territory. The fact that the liquid is eagerly consumed by all the other animals has not occurred to the Melchiors yet, and it is not known whether they would evolve beyond this pathetic, hundred year failure.
Social Characteristics Edit
Melchiors are generally very sociable creatures, reacting violently only in the physical presence of those who admit that they commit such vile, despicable, inhumane acts known as "Blogging", with a hint of pride. Then the normally docile, amiable Melchior, distends its lungs, firing forth a stream of boiling hot Nitrous Oxide, causing both pain and hilarity in the disgusting victim at the same time, as well as causing boils to sprout all over the victim's skin, now filled with Diet Dr. Pepper's. Taking advantage of this momentary weakness, the Melchior rushes forward, and tapdances amazingly well on the stricken foe, much to the enjoyment of the audiences. The Melchior then, in an act that has baffled the top scientists of today, loads its paralysed victim into a cannon, where they are promptly fired into the sun.
Other than that, you'd get along just fine with them. Melchiors are often used as pinatas and as replacement telephone books, and contain no artificial colorings or flavourings whatsoever. The fact that they are completely artificial, however, should be noted.
Known Natural Enemies Edit
-Missiles, guns and other things that go bang.